Share With a Safe Friend

A safe friend is solid, secure, dependable.  They accept you for who you are, and love you no matter what . . .  In the middle of the storm, when you are weary and have lost perspective and hope, a safe friend can be an anchor to hold you steady. 

Be careful to whom you share your innermost struggles.  There are those who will violate your trust.  There are those who will minimize your concerns.  There are those who simply do not care.  Not everyone is worthy of your trust. 

What does a safe person look like?  Friend, Jann Dell shares the following excerpt from the book, Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend:   "When we asked people to describe a 'safe person' to us, they gave us these descriptions:

  A.  A person whose influence develops my ability to love and be responsible.

  B.  Someone who creates love and good works within me.

  C.  Someone who gives me the opportunity to grow.

  D.  Someone who increases love within me.

  E.  Someone I can be myself around.

  F.  Someone who allows me to be on the outside what I am on the inside.

  G.  Someone who helps me deny myself for others and God.

  H.  Someone who allows me to become the me that God intended.

  I.   Someone who helps me become the me God sees in me.

  J.   Someone whose life touches mine and leaves me better for it.

  K.  Someone who touches my life and draws me closer to who God created me to be.

  L.  Someone who helps me be like Christ.

  M.  Someone who helps me to love others more."

Before you share your pain err on the side of caution with a simple principle: share/check/share.   Share a little take a moment to check the reaction and reception from the listener.  If it is positive and affirming, share more.  If not, shut off the flow. 

A safe friend is a gift.  He or she is someone who will listen to you, love you, affirm you and help you to heal and draw closer to God.   Ask God to show you who your safe person is.  Then share your the burden of your heart with them.  Someone once said that a joy shared is doubled; a burden shared is halved.  That's wise counsel.

"The Lord is my rock,
My fortress,
My deliverer;
My God is my rock,
In Whom I take refuge.
He is my shield
And the horn of my salvation,
My stronghold."

Psalm 18:2

We can draw numerous conclusions from the enormous struggle that Job went through.

First and foremost, we must understand that suffering, death, disease, pain and bereavement are all part of life, whether we be righteous or unrighteous.

Second, we see that the role of a friend is very pivotal in seeing people through their times of anguish. Let us never underestimate this point. God’s answer for burdened, hurting hearts may well be the shoulders of a friend as we bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Third, we know that most answers of this nature requires a process. The questions must become more selfless before the answer becomes more personal. For Job, as for us, the process was as necessary as the answer. After I spoke recently at a lectureship in Bombay, India, on the subject of God and the problem of pain, a gentleman came to me and spoke of a tragedy in his family. He said to me, “I used to think that time was a healer. I no longer believe that. I now believe that time is only the revealer of how God does the healing.”

Fourth, we have learned, as Job did, that the answer to suffering is more revelation that is propositional. Those who know God personally and understand the cross are better able to find help in the dark night of the soul than those who merely tackle their problems philosophically. And the man or woman who has suffered much is often a redeemer-like figure to those whose lives are devoid of a close walk with God and whose answers may be only surface deep. A renowned Christian leader once told me, “When you are looking for wisdom, always look for one who has suffered much but whose faith has remained unshaken.”   Cries of the Heart by Ravi Zacharias

Strength for Today: Psalm 18:2

A Letter From Mom